Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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