I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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