so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
