Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
