like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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