i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
