god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
