Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
