adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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