you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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