wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
