We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think i got beer on your cat.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
