I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
