have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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