Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
