I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Randomize
