Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
