I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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