so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
