We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
