i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
