We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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