So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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