I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
