It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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