ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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