it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
