im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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