I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
