"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm both gender and math confused
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
