I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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