I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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