if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
