it wasn't lemon gatorade
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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