I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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