I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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