I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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