I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
