And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
