I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
