So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
