real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
