I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
