your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
