well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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