We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
