I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
