You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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