he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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