i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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